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My most scandalous (in urgent care), a woman came in for "vaginally swelling" X that morning (it was roughly 3 pm when she came in to be seen). So exterior GU exam is pretty normal, so I begin the speculum exam. I get the spec about half way in and I go, "there appears to be a hot pink foreign object in your vaginally canal".
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I had a patient who took an empty milk carton, rolled it up like a straw and pushed it into his bladder. How, I don’t know, but he did. I get lots of jail bendy ink pens stuck in the penis and some that end up in the bladder. Most of mine are psych issues or purely behavioral folks who want a free trip to the ER. Love it when I actually luck up and can see it and get it out.
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I almost choked on a cherry (not a euphemism) laughing at this. That’s just a lot of effort, wow. Now I’m thinking I should launch a safety line for all those objects one can stick up their anus. And now I’m thinking about liability, nope, I’m out.
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